Christmas in July!

Dear Santa:

Normally, I don’t make Christmas wish lists, but this time I have to make an exception. You see, I’m an author, and am always looking for new experiences—grist for my mill, as it were. I work according to a five-year plan, so if you’ll grant my wishes this Christmas, I won’t bother you for the next five years. Sound like a good deal? Okay—this is what I wish:

Year 1. Seeing the world with Xena, Warrior Princess. I love to travel, and though these days my idea of camping out is any place without room service, and I’m getting a little old to sleep rough, I’m not so old that I can’t do it. At least for a while. And don’t forget the big bag practically overflowing with dinars. I usually travel with a certain minimum amount of cash on my person, but back then, automatic teller machines hadn’t been invented. Besides, if I had a bagful of cash, Xena might be more amenable to having a middle-aged tag-along. She may even let me ride Argo, her horse.

Year 2.  Gallivanting through time and space with Dr. Who. The TARDIS is a magnificent machine, and I’d love to get my hands on it. Well, maybe not. The good Doctor once said only he can operate it. Very well. Maybe he’ll teach me if I ask nicely enough. At any rate, exploring new worlds I’m sure will generate lots of ideas. And between the two of us, I think we can hold off the Daleks.

Year 3.  Partying with Thor in Asgard. That joint is rockin’—no doubt about it. I’ll even participate in a battle or three. I used to be pretty handy with a rapier, though I’m out of practice. But knowing Thor, I’m sure I’ll get lots of that. And I’ve always wanted to meet Odin. He sounds pretty cool, what with all that wisdom he’s got and that gnarly eyepatch.

Year 4.  Working with the Fringe Division of the FBI. Investigating paranormal activity is something I’ve always wanted to do. And I’d love to hang out with Walter Bishop. My kind of guy—crazy but brilliant. Peter, Olivia and Chief Broyles probably won’t have much use for me, but that’s all right. Call me an intern. I’m sure Astrid will teach me the ropes. And I’ll get to learn how to milk a cow.

Year 5.  Zipping through the galaxy on the Millenium Falcon with Han Solo and Chewbacca. They’re a fun pair. Putting in at disreputable ports, learning to fix a spaceship, dodging the authorities…and think of all I could learn about smuggling! It could make for quite a story.

So that’s my list, Santa. Be a good egg and grant them to me. I’ll send you signed copies of my books.

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